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Funny Love Quotes And Sayings

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Every girl should use
what Mother Nature gave her
before Father Time takes it away.

The four most important words
in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."

A man's got to do
what a man's got to do.
A woman must do
what he can't.

There's an expiration date
stamped on my eggs:
"Best if used before
you start looking like your mother."

Many a man has fallen in love
with a girl in a light so dim
he would not have chosen a suit by it.

Love is grand;
divorce is a hundred grand.

Related : Inspirational love quotes

A man can be happy
with any woman as long as
he does not love her.

Love is the magician
that pulls man out of his own hat.

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl
in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.

I know that somewhere in the Universe
exists my perfect soulmate
- but looking for her is much more difficult
than just staying at home
and ordering another pizza.

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.

You can't put a price tag on love,
but you can on all its accessories.

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman,
the divorce.

Love is what happens to
a man and woman
who don’t know each other.

Sex is the thing that
takes up the least amount of time
and causes the most amount of trouble.

Related : Love life quotes

Why does a woman work ten years
to change a man's habits and then
complain that he's not the man she married?

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells,
get your ears checked.

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

To fall in love you have
to be in the state of mind for it to take,
like a disease

What the world really needs
is more love and less paper work.

A woman in love can't be reasonable
- or she probably wouldn't be in love.

To be in love is merely to be
in a state of perpetual anesthesia
- to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

Shopping is better than sex.
At least if you're not satisfied,
you can exchange it for something you really like.

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.

 

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