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Marriage Sayings

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The secret to having a good marriage
is to understand that marriage must be total,
it must be permanent,
and it must be equal.

I should like to see any kind of a man,
distinguishable from a gorilla,
that some good and even pretty woman
could not shape a husband out of.

After marriage, husband and wife
become two sides of a coin;
they just can’t face each other,
but still they stay together.

Success in marriage does not come
merely through finding the right mate,
but through being the right mate.

A man doesn't know what happiness is
until he's married. By then it's too late.

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice
on how to combine marriage and a career.

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Get Married
Stay Married
What a concept.

Marriage is one of the few institutions
that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet
and two solos at the same time.

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who wants to live in an institution?

I always compare marriage to communism.
They're both institutions
that don't conform to human nature,
so you're going to end up
with lying and hypocrisy.

Marriage is a relationship
in which one person is always right
and the other is the husband!

Marriages are made in heaven
but they make hell on earth.

Someone asked me why
women don't gamble as much as men do,
and I gave the commonsensical reply
that we don't have as much money.
That was a true and incomplete answer.
In fact, women's total instinct for gambling
is satisfied by marriage.

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I require only three things of a man.
He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

The only mistake for which people
are congratulated is marriage.

What counts in making
a happy marriage is not so much how
compatible you are,
but how you deal with incompatibility.

Love is one long sweet dream
and marriage is the alarm clock!

I got rid of my husband.
The cat was allergic.

All young women begin by believing
they can change and reform the men they marry.
They can't.

Bachelors know more
about women than married men;
if they didn’t, they’d be married too.

The appropriate age for marriage
is around eighteen for girls
and thirty-seven for men.


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