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Funny Wedding Quotes

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If you want to sacrifice
the admiration of many men
for the criticism of one,
go ahead, get married.

Bachelors know more
about women than married men;
if they didn't, they'd be married too.

Every mother generally hopes
that her daughter will snag a better husband
than she managed to do...
but she's certain that her boy
will never get as great a wife as his father did.

The secret of a happy marriage
remains a secret.

I'd like to get married
because I like the idea
of a man being required by law
to sleep with me every night.

Related : Shakespeare love quotes

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.

My marriage is on the rocks again;
yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

Marriage is the only war
in which you sleep with the enemy.

At American weddings,
the quality of food
is inversely proportional
to the social position
of the bride and the groom.

One good husband is worth two good wives;
for the scarcer things are,
the more they are valued.

In olden times,
sacrifices were made at the altar,
a practice that still continues.

Marriage: A ceremony
in which rings are put on the finger
of the lady and through the nose
of the gentleman.

The first time you buy a house,
you see how pretty the paint is and buy it.
The second time,
you look to see
if the basement has termites.
It's the same with husbands.

Related : Love song quotes

I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.

I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home
which answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog which growls every morning, a
parrot which swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late at night.

Someone once asked me
why women don't gamble
as much as men do
and I gave the commonsensical reply
that we don't have as much money.
That was a true but incomplete answer.
In fact, women's total instinct for gambling
is satisfied by marriage.

Marriage is like a violin.
After the music is over,
you still have the strings.

Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men
should be happier than others.

 

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